Forever Starts Today
by mrsjackturner
Summary: In his first year, James makes a discovery that will colour his time in Hogwarts.  Will he have the strength to not let it destroy him?  JSP/ASP, AS/S Please make sure to read the warnings!


**Title:** Forever Starts Today

**Rating:** R

**Pairing(s):** James/Albus, Albus/Scorpius

**Warnings:** incestuous feelings, eating disorder, acts of torture and murderous thoughts

**Disclaimer:** All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** In his first year, James makes a discovery that will colour his time in Hogwarts. Will he have the strength to not let it destroy him?

**Author's Notes:** Ok, so this is a pinch hit that I've thrown together. I hope it lives up to the prompters expectations. Beta'd by stgulik and luna_plath.

His hand reached out and delicately touched the image before him. Eyes so similar to his own were reflected back at him. In fact, one pair was his. Yet there were eyes of emerald green surrounding him as well, both his father's and his brother's. All of them were looking at him, and they were all proud. Albus and Lily gazed at him in admiration and his parents smiled in satisfaction at seeing their eldest at Hogwarts. Even his grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles were there with him. James might have been a poor imitation of his dad in looks, unlike his brother, but right now he saw parts of himself in everyone.

For a while, all James could do was stand and stare. After a few moments, he looked around and reassured himself that no one was in the room with him. He even walked around the back of the mirror to investigate it. Then James recalled the words of his dad years before, ones he had spoken when detailing his own adventures at Hogwarts. There was a mirror, he had told them, a mirror that had shown him what he desired most in the world. First, he had seen his dead family, then later, the way to defeat Voldemort and prevent him from getting the Philosopher's Stone.

James smiled at his reflection and the images of his family who were now all hugging him tightly. He missed them. Now he could come and see them whenever he wanted, but more importantly, he was just like his dad. Maybe not in looks or personality, but he was in his deepest desires. There was no one in the world better than his dad.

As his first year had progressed, James visited the Mirror whenever he felt homesick. It always made him feel better. He told no one about it, of course, because if he had, James feared they would take the Mirror from him as they had taken it from his father. It seemed silly really, because it was not dangerous. All it did was make him not feel so alone.

**...**

When his second year rolled around, he promised himself he would not visit it as much. After all, James had Al now, and with his little brother by his side, he would hardly need the image of his family to sustain him in the long months without his parents. However, Al was sorted into Slytherin. James did not get to see him. His brother made no effort to be with his family in Gryffindor.

The image in the Mirror changed. Al was no longer there. He did not want to see James anymore and James did not want to see him. Yet, in the Mirror, James' parents lavished more attention on him and it made his loneliness vanish.

Instead of visiting the Mirror less as he had planned, he started seeking it out more. Before he knew it, hardly a week went by when James did not find himself in front of the inviting imitation of his family, being adored by everyone. They were all there, except for his traitorous brother, of course. Not only had he abandoned James for the snake pit, but he had struck up a close friendship with Scorpius Malfoy. That was doomed to fail. Malfoy could never love Al as much as James did. Al was his brother. Not Malfoy's.

**...**

A new year generated a new change to the image. Instead of all of his family, only Al accompanied James in the Mirror. They played together as they had done when they were younger, before Malfoy had interfered and torn them apart. Malfoy was just like his manipulative Death Eater father, just like Uncle Ron always said. He was evil and did not deserve Al's friendship. However, Al would listen to no one, and their parents actually indulged Al's friendship with Malfoy. Not James. He knew it was wrong. His brother was not with him anymore. They had always been together. Much closer than they were with their sister Lily - but then she was a girl and younger; she was only into boring things like cute animals and love potions. She was nothing like Al and James, who loved pranks and Quidditch.

The first time James skived off class to be with the image of his brother, he thought nothing of it. After all, it was only Divination. Who needed that?

**...**

Fourth year brought hormones in abundance, and all his friends were talking about girls even more than the years before. They were now doing it all of the time. James would escape and watch the Mirror, because girls were tiresome creatures and hearing people talk about them was even more tedious.

Al did not talk about girls. Instead, Al sat with him and sometimes hold his hand. James liked that. Well, it was not really his hand. It was just in the Mirror, because Al was still friends with that wicked Malfoy boy and James barely saw him anymore. When James looked in the Mirror, Al would ignore Malfoy. James watched as the blond tried to attract Al's attention. Al paid him no heed. James really liked that. It became that he never felt worthy unless he was watching Al and himself in the Mirror.

James skipped meals the day Al first chose him over Malfoy. After all, if he got hungry, he could always just go to the kitchens.

**...**

Malfoy was getting in the way. He had well and truly wormed his way between James and Al, and had made Al hate James. James had tried everything to win his brother back. The snake was clever, so James studied harder. It was James' year to do his O.W.L.s. Maybe if he got all O's then Al would see that James was just as clever, if not more so, than the Malfoy spawn. In a desperate attempt to get Al to notice him James had even tried out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but unfortunately not succeeded.

For the first part of the year, James sat by the Mirror and studied. Al praised him and told him how wonderful he was, how proud of him he was, how James was so much better than Scorpius in every way. This year, James even planned to stay at Hogwarts during the holidays instead of going home. His parents thought it was so he could study for his O.W.L.s, which was true, but James did not think he could study without Al there to support him.

Then everything changed.

James saw them together.

In the corridor, not even trying to hide it, Malfoy had kissed Al. Al kissed him back. James fled.

He went to the Mirror and for the first time in years Al was not there, just Malfoy. Malfoy was kneeling on the floor and pleading with Mirror James. Pleading with James to not hurt him anymore, promising that he would leave Al alone now, that Al was James' and he always had been. However, Mirror James did not believe him. Instead, he took his wand to Malfoy once more.

The sick feeling that had torn painfully at his stomach ever since he had seen Malfoy and his brother together melted away. It was replaced with a pleasant buzz that infused his entire body.

**...**

Al was there again now. He watched as James hurt Malfoy, and would even smile sometimes. Never did Al try to stop James, because he knew that Malfoy deserved it. Yet Al never encouraged James to punish Scorpius more either. James knew it was what his brother wanted, even if he would not say it, so James made sure to make Malfoy bleed more and beg louder for him to stop. After all, he was just some Death Eater scum that did not deserve to breathe.

Sometimes, if Al was pleased with James, he would kiss James the way he had kissed Malfoy that day. It did not mean anything sick or weird. They were just brothers and they loved each other, it was another way of showing their affection.

James had aced his O.W.L.s. The first time that he had seen the Mirror after his results, Al had come to him alone and that was when they had shared their first kiss. His brother's eyes had sparkled and James had never seen him smile more. Al was proud of him. Al loved him. Al was not that happy when Malfoy was around.

At some point Al kissing him had turned to touching him, but that was okay too.

Sometimes, late at night when James could not sleep or at least did not want to sleep, he was sure he could feel Al's hands on him.

**...**

Christmas neared in James' final year at Hogwarts. There were rumours that in just over a year's time, Al planned to move in with Malfoy. Together. In their own flat. Without James.

James needed the Mirror. Lacking it, he would have nothing of Al left at all, because his brother had completely abandoned him. Al had left him alone. It would not matter how well James did in his N.E.W.T.s because Al was practically married to Malfoy now, and that meant he had not chosen James as he should have.

Anger burned within James' soul and when Malfoy begged for James to stop, to stop hurting him and then he would leave Al. James just laughed. He knew what he had to do now. There was only one thing left. One thing that would ensure Al was his forever. When he saw the green flash and the crumpled body on the floor, James laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed as he could not remember having done for such a long time.

Malfoy was gone.

James had killed him.

His brother was safe.

...

"Dad?" Harry looked up at his son. His scared eyes were something he had promised himself that he would never see. He was supposed to protect his children and yet he had utterly failed them. Some Auror he was. Not even knowing that his own son was in trouble. "Is he going to be alright?"

Harry turned his gaze back to James, who lay, heavily sedated, in the sterile cocoon of a private room in St. Mungo's. How had he not known? James had slowly changed from the loud outgoing boy he had known as a child to someone reserved and distant. Someone who barely ate or slept. At first, Harry had just thought it was teenagers being teenagers, combined with the stress of his O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. That was until Al had found his brother collapsed from exhaustion in an abandoned classroom in front of a mirror Harry knew only too well. Al had raised the alarm and James was brought to the hospital.

Harry was not certain which one of them felt more to blame for James' condition.

Yet, he knew it was not Al's fault. No matter what his youngest son believed. Just because he was at school with him and saw more of James than his parents was not an excuse for Harry not to have known. After all, Al was James' brother, not his keeper.

"Yes," Harry sighed eventually. They would have to keep James under observation for a while and evaluate his mental state first, but after the correct potions and a consultation with a specialist Healer, he would be released. Al had found him just in time, and with any luck, there would be no permanent damage done to his eldest son. "Yes, in time, he'll come home with us."

Al was clutching tightly at Scorpius' hand. One was rarely seen without the other. They had been inseparable since their first year. Such a nice boy, Scorpius. Shame who his father was, but Harry had no problems with the younger Malfoy. He seemed nearly as shaken as Al, which was strange as Harry was certain James had never tried to make a good impression on the boy, let alone befriend him. However, in a way, Harry supposed that Scorpius was family.

Harry purposefully looked away when Al clung to Scorpius and cried into his shoulder. Yet he could not close his ears to avoid hearing Al's sobs and the accompanying words, "I thought I was going to lose him."


End file.
